Blonde Robot prides itself on straight talking.
No corporate jibber-jabber!
In our office we have a swear jar. Not for four letter words but for over the top corporate mumbo-jumbo. We like to say what we mean and mean what we say.
Therefore we will never:
Promote synergy – like a boss
Give unrealistic percentages (we respect physics so nothing over 100% here)
Think outside the box
Run it up the flag pole - this one is courtesy of Tim
Promote a symbiotic relationship – that is just plain creepy
Have a unique value proposition
Outsource our mind share – uh what?
Pick the low hanging fruit – sounds a bit pervy
Step back and take a helicopter view
Implement a user centric paradigm shift (seriously, what does this mean?)
Refer to people as a resource. Oil is a resource.
Promote organic growth. We don't sell vegetables. (thanks Ben!)
Reach out to you. If we want to speak to you we will call you. (onya Patrick)
Start windowing strategies (courtesy of Jayson Chase in the UK)
And our favourite:
We will never promote an open kimono relationship
Whoever thought flashing your genitals at each other as the perfect way cement a business relationship is messed up in the head. That this phrase has established itself into the corporate vernacular is equally disturbing.
We shake hands. We prefer it that way.
Got some jibber-jabber that makes you laugh? Email it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org and it might make the list!